Finding out your loved one has been cheating on you can leave you feeling a whirlwind of negative emotions. Anger, hurt, distress, shock, vengeance and depression can make you feel like a rabbit in the headlights and unsure of your next move.
Instructions
1. Before putting an end to your marriage or relationship, determine if there is anything worth salvaging. Continuing to live under the same roof may feel uncomfortable in the short-term, but in the long-term it can allow for some sort of reconciliation to occur. While you may never be a couple again, you might be able to retain a level of civility.
2. Use your time together to determine the routes of the affair. To be honest, your partner may have no idea why they have strayed, but there are bound to be underlying problems, which if worked on, can salvage your relationship.
3. By observing your partner closely, you can gain insight into their moods as well as the nature of their affair. Understanding this can help you realise whether this liasion was a 'flash in the pan', purely physical, an escape route or, (highly unlikely) a full-blown romantic relationship which just could not be avoided.
4. Resist the urge to air your dirty laundry in public by being selective about whom you tell about the affair. While you need support at this time, chances are you won't get it from your cheating partner's friends or family. Infact, telling them could produce really negative effects. Rather than feeling like you have a weight off your chest, you may fall prey to any negative feelings they have harboured about you over the years.
5. Denying an affair may make things easier, but it won't necessarily make it all go away. When confronting your cheating partner, remain calm and always ensure you are mentally and emotionally well-prepared. Rather than throw out the accusation, always back yourself up with proof. Accusations can be easily cast aside by a serial cheater.
6. When dealing with the "other woman" or the "other man", the best advice is: don't! While you may be curious about them, resist the urge to become obsessed by them. Chances are revenge will be high on your agenda. Taking revenge on a third party not only ignores the fact that it was your spouse that did that dirty on you, it can put you in trouble with the law.
7. After confronting your partner, it may take days or weeks to determine what you both want. This time can actually be cathartic as you can both openly communicate your needs, wants and desires to each other. Chatting so freely, without concern for the future of your relationship, can actually help you build a foundation. Whether you wish to be friends or more, spending time discussing the breakdown of your relationship will help clear the air.
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