Everyone has heartache at some point in their lifetime. A relationship ending is bad enough, especially when it is not ended on your terms. The situation becomes even harder, however, when you see your ex move on, leaving you in the dust. It happens every day, and eventually to everyone. Keeping everything in perspective and knowing deal with your feelings will have you back up on your feet in no time.
Instructions
1. Make sure to keep your composure. If you ever come across your ex, and they acknowledge you, do not have a breakdown. Be cordial and polite, even to his new love, if they are present. Crying or having an angry outburst will usually only make the ex feel as if his winning some kind of contest. If the ex still has feelings for you, he'll wonder how you manage to be so composed. If he doesn't, he'll get annoyed at your composure.
2. Realize that you have no control over your ex's actions. You are usually completely powerless in this situation, especially if you were broken up with. The quicker you can come to terms with the fact that you aren't in control, the quicker you can move on. After moving on, you'll eventually find a situation where you do have some control (a new love), and you can be happy again.
3. Do not blame yourself. It is pointless to sit around dwelling on what you think were bad decisions on your part in the relationship. In fact, it usually isn't completely anyone's fault. When the relationship was good, it was because of both of you. Now that it's bad and over, you have to remember that you were only half of the relationship. It is also good to realize that if your ex broke up with you, she wasn't giving your feelings much thought, which isn't a good relationship to be in at all.
4. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. You may feel anger, sadness or even despair. Let these emotions flow. Talk to your friends about them. Sure, they'll get tired of hearing about it, but soon you will, too. Shutting your emotions in isn't healthy in the long run and can lead to a longer period of sadness. Just remember that you will eventually find a new love, and will probably think your sadness was just silly.
5. Find things to occupy your time. Hang out with friends, catch a movie or do anything else that will help you to not dwell on your ex. Sitting around all day worrying about what your ex is doing is not going to make you any happier. It may be hard to have fun with friends at first, but you'll eventually get back into your old groove.
6. Remember the lessons you learned from the experience. This may take a while. Most people will not realize that some of the advice they've been getting from friends is good. Most also aren't in the mood to realize that there are lessons to be learned. Eventually, you'll get to the point when you can look at the situation in perspective.
7. Remember that all wounds heal in time. This is probably another thing people don't like to hear when they're heartbroken. Just think back to all the other times you've been heartbroken, and how many times you eventually got over it. Most likely, the same will happen and it will not hurt as much in a few months (if that). You'll soon adapt to your new life, and the situation will not seem so dreary after all.
8. Make sure that you move on, too. Take time to get to know someone. Everyone has just so much room in their heart, and if a new person is taking up space, then there is a little less for your ex. In fact, many people cannot completely get over their ex until they find a new love.
Tags: realize that, eventually find, find love, lessons learned, Make sure, remember that