Cope With a Spouse's Exhibitionism
Exhibitionism is the exposure of one's genitals to a stranger. The exhibitionist usually has no intention of continuing any sort of sexual activity with the stranger although some exhibitionists masturbate during the exposure. Researchers don't agree if the behavior is an impulse control disorder or if it is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Whichever, if you discover your spouse is an exhibitionist, you will need to cope with this unusual problem.
Instructions
1. Learn all you can about exhibitionism. While the peeping tom is often joked about, it is a serious problem. It can be frightening, both to the partner that does it and the partner that finds out about it. Before you can find ways to cope with this in your spouse, you will need to understand it.
2. Make sure your spouse understands that what he is doing is illegal. Exhibitionism is a common sexual offense. Since people with this problem do not generally seek help until forced to, professionals say exhibitionism is under diagnosed and under reported.
3. Encourage your spouse to seek therapy. Ask your primary care provider for a referral to a therapist experienced in sexual disorders. He may also need to get involved in group therapy. His therapist can make that referral at the proper time.
4. Get your children in therapy if they are aware of the problem. If they have no idea of what's going on, leave it at that. Small children will have a difficult time understanding a sexual disorder.
5. Think about confronting your spouse if he is in denial about the problem. If you choose to go this route, you need to be able to identify appropriate resources and to state your expectations. Many spouses find they cannot stay in the marriage if the exhibitionist refuses to get help or make real efforts to change.
6. Locate support for yourself. You may need to start individual therapy. There may be a support group in your town for the spouses of exhibitionists. Find a good friend you can trust to keep all you tell her in confidence.
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